I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
