I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
