Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
