1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
