About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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