i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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