and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
