he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
