my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
