I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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