You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize