They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
