But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize