She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
A+ Viking dick
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
