When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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