What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
