Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize