So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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