tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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