if you like me you must not know who I am
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
