My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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