I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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