Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
