you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
