should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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