What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
