Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
