i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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