Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
