It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
