i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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