Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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