paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
