got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
