I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
