i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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