There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
