Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
