More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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