Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
