Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
