i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
