He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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