I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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