Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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