You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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