I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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