Yo dont text me then not text me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
