the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
