Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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