we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
