Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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