Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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