Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize