I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
