no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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