Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize