dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
