i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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