He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize