...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
