dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
