I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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