woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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