Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
